Like Whiskey And Glass
by TheHalfDrunkMonkey
Summary: It's a never ending ache in the pit of his chest. Like he ate glass and chased it down with whiskey. It hurt so much. But he couldn't just leave them. He was too selfish. He loved them too much for that.


**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF**

Stiles died protecting the people he cared about. He takes comfort in that because if he had to die he'd rather it be for the good of someone else than to have died in his sleep.

He knows his death has caused so much damage to the people around him. He knows his father drinks himself to sleep more times than not. Sees him looking through photo albums as he mourns the loss of his last family. Stiles spends the first 11 days of his afterlife watching his father gather speed in a downward spiral.

On the 12th day when his father goes for the whiskey he shatters the bottle and leaves a message mixed in with the amber liquid. The glass writes out the words 'STOP THIS' and his father looks around the room in shock.

"Stiles?"

The words are so small, so quiet that Stiles feels his chest tighten. He hates to see his father like this. He hates to see anyone in pain at all. He leaves another message in the glass for his father. 'I LOVE YOU.' He watches as the man breaks down again but he thinks this time he will be okay enough when he comes back together. He's right.

On the 15th day of his afterlife Stiles goes to check on the pack. He realizes he should have come sooner. Derek has a full beard and the betas all have bleary red eyes as they sit squashed together on the couch. The house is a wreck and none of them look like they give the slightest care.

He waits for them to go to sleep before he starts to clean the house. He doesn't need sleep because he's dead so when they stumble down in the morning the house is in much better shape. No one takes credit for it and they all assume one of the others did it while they slept. He can see them looking at each other curiously throughout the day though.

That night he does laundry and almost gets caught by Scott who hears the washer running and comes to investigate. The beta doesn't last long before falling back asleep on the couch. He doesn't wake until morning and Stiles has already been long done by then. The clothes dried, folded, and put away by the time Scott can tell the others about his midnight adventures with a pinched face.

They start to get a better grip after that and Stiles mostly just stays to watch over them. Sometimes he goes to visit his dad but mostly he stays with the pack so he's not tempted to leave more messages to his father. He needs the man to move on because he won't survive if he doesn't. He knows he shouldn't stay around the pack either but he's selfish and he loves them so much. He doesn't want to leave them yet.

He likes to watch them sleep the most. He doesn't care how very Edward Cullen that is of him. When they're sleeping they look like they're at peace. He's never visible unless he's in Derek's room and the alpha is asleep. That's the only way he can pretend for just a little bit that he's still alive. Derek has caught him a few times in that state of half lucidity between asleep and awake.

It's the night of the new moon three months after his death that he's sitting visible in Derek's chair across the room watching as he sleeps. The werewolf stirs and he vanishes but he stays. Derek sits up with a bitter laugh and Stiles realizes Derek isn't taking this as well as he thought.

The alpha sits in his bed alone that night and cries. It's quiet, almost silent, but Stiles can still barely hear as Derek sobs into his knees. He can't help it as he moves forward closer to the wolf and whispers to himself.

"Derek."

Derek looks up at the room with another bitter laugh.

"It's crazy and stupid but I keep dreaming about you. Sometimes I don't think it's a dream. I think I see you watching me. I swear I keep catching things moving out of the corner of my eye and all I can think about is you. Stuff keeps happening and everyone says it's not them and I don't know what to think because everything is the way you used to do it. It kills me."

Just like that he gives into his selfishness.

"Derek."

He doesn't whisper this time. His voice is thin and watery and there's metallic-ness to it but it's his voice and Derek can hear him. Derek can see him too. Sitting next to him on the bed without making the mattress dip or the covers warm.

"Stiles."

"Derek."

He gives out a quiet sigh as he looks the alpha in the eyes.

"I love you."

"Stiles. Oh god."

"Shh. It's okay Derek." !-[endif]-

Just like that a flip switches and Derek's on his feet before him yelling.

"IT'S NOT OKAY. NOTHING IS OKAY STILES. YOU'RE DEAD. YOU DIED AND LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE. IT'S NOT OKAY. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

"You fight on Derek. You are better than this."

"I'm not. Not without you. How could you do this to me? How could you just leave me here and go die? I could have saved you."

The end of his words are a low moan as he stands there in front of Stiles chest heaving as tears roll down his cheeks. He hears the gasps as the door opens but he stays and keeps focused on Derek.

"They would have killed you. They would have kill you all. So I made a choice."

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT-"

The words are a howl as Derek reaches out to touch him and passes right through.

"Quit right now! I had every right. I chose to keep you safe and you will respect my choices. They weren't going to let me go even if I handed you over."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT."

"I DO KNOW THAT. I KNEW THE HUNTERS WERE GOING TO COME FOR ME EVENTUALLY DEREK. I KNEW THAT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING."

Derek's knees hit the ground hard as he landed in front of Stiles. His hands just passed through Stiles' face as he reached out again. Red tear filled eyes looked up at him searchingly as Derek continued to sob.

"Why did you stay?"

It's a low pitiful moan and Stiles isn't sure if he's talking about now or when he was alive. The answer was still the same.

"I stayed because I love you."

**I guess I just had some feels to get out guys. I posted this on Tumblr originally but it's really easy to lose fics over there so I guess I'll just put it up here.**

**HalfDrunk**


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